JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
