Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
