You really coming over, don't trick.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
