does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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