I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
