you mean i was at the winter classic?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
