There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
