what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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