Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My feet surprised me
Randomize
