We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
