Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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