whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
