Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
