what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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