I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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