So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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