I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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