dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
