But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
