Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
