Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
