"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize
