Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
