garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
