Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
found the other keg... it's in the tree
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
