Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize