Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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