Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
