What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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