Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
