Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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