How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
