margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I am midnight drunk by noon
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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