yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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