with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You were trust falling into bushes
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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