Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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