I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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