He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
