I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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