so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
