so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
