And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
