Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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