Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
