um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
