if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
