Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
