I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize