I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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