my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
