Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
