Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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