i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just want nice things and good sex
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
