wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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