I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
