If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
