Sponge bath it is.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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