Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
